


I never asked to be the bad guy

by EMOtional_bean (A_Little_Birdy_Told_Me)



Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burning, self hate/blame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-11-19 09:24:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11310471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Little_Birdy_Told_Me/pseuds/EMOtional_bean
Summary: Should I continue with this?Let me know in the comments!Xxx -birdy out





	1. "Why me?"

Anxiety opened his dark eyes with a sudden jolt, he stared at his window, his black curtains moving freely in the early-morning breeze, he covered his face with his hands. "get a grip Anxiety. It was only a nightmare..." he sighed and looked down at his 'pyjamas'. A black, "my chemical romance" top, and pair of grey shorts. As simple as they were, he loved them, they represented something he loved the most. Sleep. Admittedly He didn't get much of it, but when he did, he treasured it. Nothing could wake him, well, almost nothing.

"You okay Kiddo?!"

"...Go away..." 

"Now, now, that isn't a very nice tone to have now, is it?' 

Anxiety rolled over in his bed, he never had a quilt on, but if he did it would probably have been black. He buried his face in his pillow. Contemplating whether it was really worth getting out of bed today, the same as he always did. 

"I'm being serious, is everything okay?  
Logan said you didn't come for dinner last night, and Roman-"

"I ate after you went to bed"

"What did you eat" it sounded like more of a demand than a question. This meant Patton was definitely concerned 

Anxiety paused, he hated lying to the 'Father' but he was too tired to deal with him worrying about him. He really wasn't anything to be worried about.

"Some cereal" 

"That's not the healthiest, but it will do, come and have breakfast"

"....."

"I made pancakes?" 

"Fine." 

"Good, at least I will have Some evidence you're eating."


	2. "What's the point?"

Anxiety took a long, deep sigh. 'It was what needed to be done' he convinced himself, 'they won't always be there, and you know that, so why should they worry about your pathetic little issues'. he hesitantly sat up, and pushed himself off the messy, black bed. Just the way he thought they should be. Everything in his room was black, none of the others knew this, they had never seen inside of it, and why should they? It was HIS room, why was it their business? He advanced to his window and opened the curtains, the sun was rising, Anxiety loved sun rise, he would never admit it though, especially not to the others. 'Anxiety, the literal embodiement of all things dark, liking the sun? Pshh Surely something else to be teased about.' He closed his hazel eyes and yawned, a nice, awakening yawn, not the ones you get when you were exhausted, which came as a surprise to him. For once. He didn't feel like going back to sleep for ever. Today ,could be a good day.


	3. "why bother?"

_**bang** _ ****

Anxiety jumped, closed the window and resumed a 'relaxed' position.

"Annnnxietyyyyyyyyyyy you take longer than I do to get dressed, and I'm fabulously dressed"  
Anxiety winced, the amount of self confidence radiating from that voice almost made him feel sick. 

"Princey." he grunted. 'of all the people-'

"are you okay in there? Did the wardrobe eat you?" 

"shut up." 

"well if It did, it spat you back out, I don't blame it, nothing would want to eat something as salty as yo-" 

"shut up before I make you."

"okay shortie, you're really making me quake in my boots" 

Anxiety slammed against the black, wooden door. He gave a satisfied smirk when he heard a small yelp and a 'thud'. He opened the door, just enough to see Princey's face

"morning to you too sunshine" Princey gave Anxiety a growl and dusted himself off, his pride obviously tarnished, Anxiety couldn't help but laugh at this, well giggle. Anxiety covered his mouth, his face a bright red, he slammed his door and slid down it, okay, maybe today wouldn't be all that great.  
___________________________________________

 

Princey stared at the shiny wooden floor, "what just happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue with this?   
> Let me know in the comments! 
> 
> Xxx -birdy out


	4. Nopenope

Princey stood outside the old, white door. It always confused him as to why it was white, but he wasn't thinking about that now.

"Did he just...... _giggle_?"

he looked at the door, and shook his head, it was way too early for this. He yawned and looked down at the floor once again, his mind slowly zoning out. 

 

* **bump. bump. bump***

He jumped, and turned around slowly. 

"who's there?" 

But no one was in sight.

"Pranks if it's you again, I swear-"

* _ **Bump. bump. bump***_

_the noise grew louder_

****"I mean It!"

_the noise stopped._

_The silence unsettled him._

_he gulped._

_'Why are you so scared? Nothing could possibly get you in here!'_

He mentally comforted himself.

_***BUMP*** _

Princey jumped, a small 'squeak' escaping his lips, and before he knew it, something had attached itself to his legs. 

"GOTCHA!" 

Princey sighed internally and externally.

it was Missy.

/misleading complement

she gave a big, beaming smile. 

"Good morning!" 

"..... good morning to you too Missy, but was that  _really_ necessary?" 

"Yup!"

and with that, she bounded of down the corridor, to the common room, where she hoped to claim another victim. 

He smiled and walked down after her, completely forgetting about Anxiety. But that was normal.  _Everyone_ Forgot about Anxiety. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for yo faces hope you like it. 
> 
> -Birdy out Xx


	5. Another boring day

Anxiety walked over to his mirror, his hands covering his red face. He knew no one could see him, but he felt the need to hide it. He placed a hand on his black chest of drawers, and looked into the mirror, he was the palest thing in the room, aside from a small, white teddy bear hanging from his pillows. He walked over to it and gently placed it back on to his messy bed. The toy meant a lot to him, it held his only happy memory, from a time when he wasn't judged or hated for his opinions. 

He walked back over to the mirror, and grabbed a hair brush, as messy as his hair looked, he always put small amounts of effort into making it presentable, 

along with his eyeshadow.

yes he wore eyeshadow.

but it wasn't for beauty reasons. He never got that much sleep, causing him to have dark, purple bags under his eyes. You would never notice or know, because of the eye shadow he used to cover them, black was the only colour dark enough, but he didn't mind. It suited him well, besides, it only added to the whole 'I'm the bad guy' feel. That was the only thing he hated about it. He never wanted to be the bad guy, in fact he would much rather be emotional and soppy like Patton if it meant people would like him, but he knew that would never happen. He would always be the antagonist. No matter what.

         ---------------------

 

"Hey princey."

 

"oh, hey Patton"

 

"has Anxie- Virgil. Come down yet?"

 

"You know he hates being called that, right?" 

 

"Yeah, I know, but still. Anyway did you see him?"

 

"Yeah, he was as grumpy and gloomy as ever, I still don't know why we bother with him-"

 

"now don't say things like that, he's a very nice guy underneath all that.... uhhhh.. all that..."

 

"eye shadow?" 

 

"Yeah, let's just say that."

         ---------------------

  ~~Virgil~~ Anxiety, closed the eyeshadow and placed it on the the chest of drawers, he examined the room before he left.  _still as messy as ever._  He opened the door and closed it silently, trying to be as quiet as he could, he walked down the corridor to the kitchen, maybe he could scare someone along the way.

      -----------------------

 

**_beep beep beep beep_ **

 

"...huh.."

"that's odd, I thought I turned that off.." 

Logan slammed the alarm clock onto the table, it was the only way to get it to shut up, this was because the snooze button stopped working after a small, incident. He didn't mind it all that much. It still did its job, so to speak. He stood up and stretched, a small yawn escaping his lips, he always woke up much earlier than the alarm clock, and Patton always questioned him for this, "why bother with an alarm clock if you don't really use it?" But Logan always responded with "Because it helps" or something similar, Patton never understood, but left it alone. It wasn't any of his buisiness.

He bent down and grabbed his glasses, he put them on, and walked over to his wardrobe, it was an old, auburn colour, but he loved it, it wasn't too bright, and it wasn't too bland, it was perfect.  Just like most things in his room, of course, his definition of perfect was different to everyone else's, and he always told them there was no such thing, but he still called his things perfect, even if they were all a little, odd to everyone else. 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry for the extremely late update! If you guys keep nagging me I might actually remember, sorry again. Anyway on to the chapter!

Anxiety glided down the corridor like a ghost, he could have been mistaken for one. He made no noise, and was as pale as ever. It was almost like he had risen from the dead, and was back with vengeance, vengeance towards those who had wronged him, but that was not the case. He just simply wanted Patton to stop worrying. As he neared the small, brightly lit kitchen he stopped and took a deep breath, he thought about wether or not he should go in. Any sort of social gathering was enough to make him anxious, even if it was only going into the kitchen for food. It still involved talking to people, and he hated people. This was understandable, people hated him, so why should he like them? Of course if you attempted to tell him otherwise he would always hiss or use some other unconventional defence tactic. The others always wondered why this was, mainly Logan. However it confused the others too, Patton  would usually say it was just "his way of expressing himself" but Roman thought it to be more, "why does he need to defend himself? not that he's any good at it" Logan would always cut him short by telling him to "not dwell on it" but it was kind of hard not to when someone just hissed at you. 

He sighed and walked into the kitchen, hoping he would go in undetected.

"oh hey kiddo" 

'damn' 

"you okay?" 

"Don't talk to me." 

"If you say so."

patton turned his back to the younger, he was a little saddened but he didn't mind too much, it was normal. He didn't want to force virgi- _Anxiety_ out of his comfort zone. 

"Well, food's on the table."

"I told you not to talk to me" 

Patton nodded, and turned to point to the table. Anxiety gave him a sarcastic smile and grabbed a plate, he never ate with the others, this made them question if he actually ate at all. Patton would always assure them that he did, but he questioned it himself sometimes. Anxiety was coming down less and less, each time he would appear on the rare occasion, he would seem thinner and paler. Logan assured Patton he was fine, but Patton had a terrible feeling something was off, Roman told him to stop worrying, and that "he was nothing to worry about." But Patton would always tell him to "take it back" and that "he was one of them" but he wasn't. 

-Creativity 

-Morality 

-Logic 

positive. 

-Anxiety 

 _negative_.

but Patton didn't want to accept it, he couldn't. He saw something in Anxiety that the others didn't, and he wasn't going to give up on that. Even if he felt like it was impossible. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Anxiety finished his food, and placed the plate in the sink. He gave Patton a small nod as a thank you and he left, pulling his hood up as he walked out of the room. 

Patton smiled, as small as it was, he was just happy Anxiety had actually eaten, and thanked him for it. It was the sign of a good day, Patton would judge how the day would be from the reaction he got from Anxiety, if he was grumpier than usual, Thomas would usually have a panic attack, and that affected everyone. However, if he seemed less grumpy he wouldn't usually 'work any harder than he had to'  which normally meant things would be as normal.

He turned on the taps and began to wash up, the water gently splashing against the plates. He was in a good mood, and unlike Logan and Anxiety, nothing could bring him down, well. _almost_ nothing. 

\--------------------------------

_"Virgil?! What happened? Why are you-? What did you do?!"_

_Anxiety hid his face  as Logan, Roman and Patton surrounded Thomas, their eyes wide with concern._

_"You did this! Didn't you! You always do!"_

_"Why do you always blame me when things go wrong Roman!?"_

_Roman stumbled back at the tone in Anxiety's voice, it was angry, but it almost sounded_

_~~broken~~ _

_He could have sworn Anxiety was crying, if he Anxiety hadn't hidden it so well._

_"Can you blame me for being right?! It's always_ _you! First then and now **this!"**_

_**'First then, and now this'** _

_"This wasn't my fault!"_

_"Stop lying Anxiety, you were the only one with Thomas, it could have only have been you."_

_Anxiety choked back tears, he was struggling to hide it now, even Logan blamed him._

 

_All the while Patton remained silent._

_\-----------------_

Anxiety shoved his hands in his pockets, his hair pressed against his face underneath his hood. He once again stridded silently down the corridor, his feet seemingly not touching the ground. He loved being able to do this, it made scaring people so much easier, and so much fun. He hated that he felt joy in other people's fear, but he tried to think of it as normal. The amount of times he'd watched Patton jump out at Logan, and then be practically crying on the floor with laughter, gave him a small amount of hope, hope that he wasn't  just as fucked up as he thought he was. 

But it wasn't much in the way of hope.

Patton would always tell Anxiety it was normal, but he found it hard to believe. He also found it impossible to believe if anyone complimented him. Even if it was Roman simply stating that "he didn't look as terrible as usual" or that "you can't go wrong with just wearing plain black"

Anxiety would always grunt at him or tell him to "stop lying"  and this for some reason hurt Roman more than any of Anxiety's insults, he would never show it though, 'what? And allow him to know I actually care just a little for his well-being? He'd surely laugh and say I sounded stupid' Roman told himself, and it wasn't too difficult for him to persuade himself either, it sounded so much like something Anxiety would do. 

Something Anxiety  _did_ do

\-------------------

_The glass crashed to the ground, shattering everywhere. Cutting everything that was close, including Anxiety._

_"What happened? Are you alrig-"_

_Anxiety shoved his hands in his pockets and winced, the cuts werent too deep, but he was bleeding. Alot._

_"Go away."_

_"Not until I know everything is fi-'"_

_"I said go away!"_

_"Virgil-"_

_"Don't ever call me that again!"_

_"Calm down!"_

_Tears glinted in Anxiety's eyes, and then he ran. He ran to his room and slammed his door._

_Roman just stood there, after all, what could he do?_

_\------------------_

 


	8. Chapter 8

Virgil stridded down the corridor, his hood pressing his messy hair against his head, but he didn't mind. He just continued walking, making no sound, just like usual. 

He truly was just a ghost.

A ghost to reality. 

A ghost to himself.

A ghost  _of_ himself

And he was used to it, he was used to being ignored. Used to being looked past and pushed aside. Used to being hated. Used to being rejected. I wouldn't call it the "fear of rejection"

I'd call it the "expectation of rejection." 

He always expected it, no matter what it was or or when it was, he was just so used to it. 

He,

Had "had his fill" 

\------------

_Roman questioned if he should go after Anxiety, his mind debating back and forth, the same question ringing in his head: 'why should I? He's never done this, or anything nice for any of us.'_

_Yet something urged him to go._

_He ran down the corridor, not nearly as gracefully as Anxiety did, but that wasn't important, nobody was around to see, nobody was around to judge him._

_He stopped._

_He had never been afraid of judgement before. This was almost , scary_

_but he brushed it off, and continued to run. He'd think about it later._

_When he reached the door he paused, a feeling suddenly engulfed him, another unfamiliar feeling. It was heavy and burdening, almost like someone was tying his stomach into knots and then placed weights on it. A sinking feeling._

_'was this, Anxiety?'_

_'the same feeling that Virgil felt, every single day? The same feeling, that Virgil made Thomas feel. Every. Single. Day.'_

_All feelings of sympathy and guilt vanished._

_'why should I check on the miserable brat? What has he ever done to deserve-'_

_His thoughts were silenced._

_'is that.......... Is that....... crying?'_

_He pressed an ear to the old door, the white outside paint, fading and chipping as he moved his hand, but he didn't really notice it. He only had one thing to think about._

_And sure enough, there was crying._

_Small, strangled and muffled sobs came from within the room. you might not have noticed them if you weren't paying attention._

_But Roman was._

_The sinking feeling returned, his hands seemed to shake, his legs felt as if they were going to collapse. Yet he couldn't sit down, he felt as if he was being pulled on an Invisible string, a string that had no Intention of giving In._

_He placed his hand to the door again, debating wether or not to knock._

_'is this the same feeling, he really feels every day?'_

_he knocked on the door once._

_"Virgil?"_

_\-------------_

"Roman?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine Patton."

"You sure?" 

"Yes, why?"

"You've been staring at the sink for a few minutes now, I was beginning to wonder if something from Anxiety's room had possessed you." 

Roman froze, and his eyes widened. 

"There are things in there that can do that?" 

"I'm not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised!"

They both chuckled, the tense atmosphere, seemingly lifting. 

"What were you thinking about?" 

"Nothing Patton, it's fine." 

"Well, it can't be nothing kiddo, you've been thinking about it for quite a while." 

"It's nothing Patton, really." 

"......if you say so." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!   
> My wifi is ridiculously bad.   
> I'm hoping I should be able to update quick next week, updates shall be on Sundays or Saturdays if everything goes right.   
> Well   
>  -Birdy out Xxx


	9. Chapter 9

Logan walked down the corridor, his phone in one hand and his tie in the other, he didn't really agree with social media, but it gave Thomas a job, and it could be very useful and fascinating. Things were easier to find, and some times more accurate. 

Wikipedia was definitely not more accurate.

That site was the bane if his existence.

well. Other than emotions.

wikipedia almost always got things wrong. And that drove him insane. 

That and google translate, the rubbish that it came up with was ridiculous. Thankfully he wasn't a language teacher, or he may have murdered someone by now. 

\----------

"so, have you spoken to Virgil at all, other than to tell him about breakfast?" 

"Why would I do that? It's not like he wants to talk to me anyway." 

"Well, you never know until you try."

"yes I do. He does not want to talk to me." 

"If you say so." 

"I do say so"

"well then." 

They stood together in awkward silence for a while, Patton sighed and want back to cleaning the dishes, he had one plate left to clean, and then he could go talk to Virgil himself. 

"What do you see in him anyway?" 

"Well. I see a small, scared child that just wants to be told that people care." 

"How? How could you possibly see that in him?" 

"I'm basically the dad, Roman. I see a child in everyone. Even Logan." 

Logan walked through the door, and adjusted his glasses. 

"What'd I miss?"

"THOMAS THAT WAS A REAL NICE DECLARATION-"

"Roman, no. I do not want to hear anymore of this. 'Hamilton' business." 

"LOGAN, HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT? TO M E. OF ALL PEOPLE-"

"Roman, calm down, just because Logan isn't as interested in musicals as you are-"

"SILENCE COMMONER!" 

"Roman! Apologise to Patton. Now."

"Nah, it's okay Logan. It doesn't matter"

"But Patton-"

"But nothing."

"....."

"so, uh. I'm going to go." 

"Okay Roman, at least try to talk to him for me, please." 

"Ugh fine." He lowered his head in defeat and disappointment. 

\--------

"He may be a prince, but he's a royal pain."

"agreed"

\----------

 Roman walked out of the kitchen and down the corridor, his face full of concentration. 

'What should I say to him? What can I say to him? What if I just say "hi" and leave it at that. I would have still talked to him.' 

Anxiety's door creaked open.

Roman jumped. 

"Virgil.....?"

there was no response. 

"Is....is everything alright in there?" He moved closer towards the door, the paint had faded and chipped even more since he saw it last, he hoped it was just his imagination. 

"Virgil, if you're in there please respond." 

The door creaked once more, and slammed shut. Still there was no response. Roman decided he didn't want to get eaten by whatever demon lurked in that room. So he grabbed his sword and stood in front of the door, his sword armed at the ready to kill. 

He would open the door on the count of three. 

"One."

"two."

"thr-"

the door opened completely, slamming against the wall. Sending an echo down the hallway.

it revealed a black room, with one window. It was completely opened  and the curtains blew in the growing wind.

it revealed an empty room.

Virgil was gone. 


	10. Chapter 10

Roman stepped out of the room and ran back down the corridor, he was most definitely far from elegant,  in fact, he looked rather silly, almost like a clown. Thankfully for him Patton was already walking towards him, although he wasn't paying attention. 

"Patton! Patton!"

Patton looked up to be greeted by a frantic Roman, one who was a few inches close to running into him. Patton moved out the way of his path just in time.

"That could have needed badly." 

"That's not important!"

"Alright kiddo, what's wrong?" 

"I can't find Virgil."

"He wasn't in his room?" 

"No! The room was completely empty the window was open too!"

"........I need to tell Logan."

"There's no time-"

"You go look for him. I'll tell Logan."

"But Patton-"

"Go." His voice was stern and harsh. Something Roman didn't think Patton was capable of being, but he could. And Roman didn't want to find out what would happen if he said no. 

He nodded and ran back down the corridor, and back into Virgil's room, he quickly examined the window and how far the drop was. 

'it's not that far, maybe two meters at most. Wait how did he even get out through it. You'd have to be like a-a twig.' 

'he hasn't eaten much in a few days.'

'NOW IS NOT THE TIME!'

'So what can't I stop thinking about it?'

'has he even been eating at all?'

'why am I so worried-?'

'it's this room.'

'it has to be.'

He stood there for a while. This room was messing with him surely, it must be the negative effects. Yet deep down he knew it probably wasn't entirely the room, guilt began to creep up his spine as he recalled how he had treated Anxiet-  _'HE HAS_   _A NAME'_

Roman jumped, someone, or something was most certainly in his head. 

'it'stheroomit'stheroomit-'

_"_ _It's not the room."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. My wifi hates me. I'm not kidding I tried to update like twice.


	11. A/N  super sorry

I'm really really sorry I've been gone for so long, I've been tying to update for weeks now, but my wifi is so bad and my coursework has been getting harder,but some of you might be glad to know I'm writing a new chapter right now, and if all goes well. (I SWEAR TO FUCKIN GOD IF IT DOESN'T-) there should be a new chapter tomorrow 

Sorry again! 

-Birdy out Xxx


	12. A/N IMPORTANT!!! SORRY!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! WILL BE NEW CHAPTER!!!

DON'T SKIP!!!  
IMPORTANT-  
updates will be once every two weeks I'm sorry! BUT BUT BUT I will do my best to make longer chapters!

SORRY-  
those of you who have read the last A/N know how my wifi is SHIT, and I am sososososososososososososososososososososososososososososossosoososssoosososososososososososososososososososososososososososoosoosososososososososososososo  
sorry about the lack of updates. My wifi always dies as I am about to upload, so. depending on the state of my internet connection I will do my diddlydarn best to get updates out once every two weeks. on (saturday or sunday) and if you don't get the update you can assume I'm either dead, my wifi has died, or I didn't have time to update. (if the answer is the second or the latter, I will do my best to get the chapter out as soon as physically possible)

MERRY CHRISTMAS-  
so! for the lack of updates I shall make a CHRISTMAS chapter!

WAIT!  
THERE'S MORE!

there will be two!  
one that follows the story,  
and one that doesn't take place in the current timeline.

i hope this will make up for it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!


	13. (current story) chapter 11

"You heard me.  It  _ **Isn't**_ the room, Roman."

The voice seemed to call from nowhere and everywhere. It's message haunting every corner of Roman's mind.

 

"How do you know my name?!" 

Roman demanded, the fear he felt thumping in his chest, lacing every word he spoke. 

And he hated it. 

 

"I know  _everything_ about you Roman. Verge told me  **all about _you_**. How you treat him so poorly for how he dresses and acts, How you mock him for being so defensive when you know  _nothing_ about him. As if you understood his past.  _You could never understand._ never. ever. ever."

 

The voice spoke tauntingly, it's sharp tone slicing through Roman's heart and mind. He couldn't ignore the truth, he couldn't run, but he couldn't listen either. The guilt ate away at him, gnawing on his sanity. bit by  _torturous_ bit. He wanted to stop it all but he knew what he had done, and there was no stopping karma. He deserved this. and all it took for him to realise this was a voice in his head. A fucking voice. A voice that had no intention of stopping giving Roman the punishment he deserved.

 

"How do you know him and about his past?"

"Changing the subject are we?"

"Perhaps."

"So little old Verge never spoke about me? not even once?"

"nope. I must say i did see this coming though. An eerie voice inhabiting his room was far from surprising."

"Then why are you scared?"

"I am not."

"you really aren't very intelligent? are you?"

"excuse me? I am a Prince don't you know."

"Do I look like I care?"

"I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE."

"oh. yeah."

"Are gonna show me your face or what demon."

"Never been called a demon before."

"Well that is surprising."

"Then again the only person I ever talk to is Virgil, he's the only one who will actually listen and care."

"We clearly do not know the same Virgil."

"We don't."

"He's always so grump- wait, what?"

"Well  _my_ Virgil is kind, scared, selfless, hard-working and misunderstood. If not a bit grumpy and defensive. But he has plenty of reasons for that."

"Are we definitely talking about the same Virgil?"

"They both basically live in this room."

"True."

"Both are quite dark and defensive people."

"yeah."

"Both wear black and pretty much nothing else. Except maybe purple." 

"He never seemed to me like the kind of person to like purple."

"Both are called Virgil and-"

"Okay I get your point. I just find it hard to believe that he really is just a good guy under all that edge and angst."

"You've never believed him on anything."

"Yeah but-"

"But what? He's an overly negative, stubborn, angsty teenager who is constantly only ever pointing out the mistakes and bad things?"

"Exactly."

"You should hear him look in the mirror in the morning. Like holy hell is it possible for someone to hold that much negativity and hate for just himself."

"what..?"

"But yeah, same person and you and your friends have made the last few years of his life a misery. Now he's gone and it is most certainly your fault."

"My fault? how?"

"......"

"Okay but it isn't just me."

"Just mostly."

"I'll agree with that."

"That's scary."

"More scary than a disembodied voice?"

"okay fine. I'll tell you my name."

"How will that help?"

"I don't know just shut up."

"You sound just like him."

"Trust me, I don't sound or act anything like him. He has wayyyyyy more common sense."

"You gonna tell me your name or what?"

"Is this like those weird ass name reveals you guys did? Virgil did not like that one bit."

"Yeah I could tell, are gon-"

"Yet you made him do it anyway."

"He chose to."

"And you all pressured him into it to begin with."

"We were curious!"

"uhuh. As curious as this?"

"YES!"

The voice laughed mockingly and jokingly, finding great amusement in Roman's stress.

"Do you treat Virgil like this? no wonder he is so fucking grumpy."

"I was about to ask you the same question-"

"Tell me your name!"

"hmmmmmmmmmm....."

"Please!"

"Well....... since you asked so nicely....."

"yes?....."

"My name is Mabel, I'm a childhood friend to Virgil."

"Why are you dead???"

"That's a story for another day."

"no don't you dare leave me on a cliffhanger!"

"Now, go find my friend."

"What??! This isn't fair! Don't leave me!"

"See ya Princey."

".....He told you that name, didn't he?"

"Maybe...."

"...of course."

With that the voice disappeared, and a chill filled the empty, black room.

"He keeps his dead best friend in his room."

"........"

"Why am I not surprised?"

_________________________________

Virgil ran as fast as he could.

that thing was there.

it wanted him.

it wanted his friends.

he would not let it get him.

he would not let it get them.

The snow fell fast and harshly.

The shards of ice spiralling down, adding to the vast, white wasteland that crunched beneath Virgil's cold, aching feet.

yet he ran.

and ran.

and ran.

he couldn't stop.

as long as that  _thing_ followed him, he wasn't safe.

nobody was.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was quite scared to add in Mabel, but I needed to add her to make the actual story line work. So don't worry this is the only chapter she will be in for now. She might be referenced later and appear once or twice but that's just because there aren't anymore canon characters that aren't the others or Thomas.
> 
> also I would have posted this chapter yesterday, but who doesn't love drunken family issues on christmas.  
> hahaha.  
> fun.  
> hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> -Birdy out! Xxx


	14. chapter 12

The snow continued to collect on the cold, hard ground. The sea of white ever growing, ever increasing. It reflected all light blinding Virgil with its cold and cruel beauty, but Virgil knew this could never compare to the pain that would incur if he slowed down. Even for a moment he knew his fate would be sealed, and that creature would not rest until every strip of his sanity that remained would be erased. Only to create another monster, one that would surely hurt those he held closest to him. One he could never let live, one he could never forgive. even if that monster was him. 

what is this monster you ask?

one that has the very aspect of fear and anxiety running for his inconsequential life?

one that has the ability to cause our misunderstood hero to abandon almost everything and everyone he loves?

well you'll find this monster to be quite familiar, remember how you felt as a child when you could have sworn there was a creature lurking under your bed?

or when you heard the monster move and no one believed you?

or that time something moved from within your old and creaking closet?

and when a face seemingly appeared to scream at you from within your Television screen, despite the fact it was switched off?

That my friend, is  _fear_ _. Not_ Virgil.

however fear has no form, no caring face, no understanding eyes, no purple hair, no clothes.

but it does have claws sharp enough to slice clean through your favourite toy.

Teeth long enough to pierce through its foul, and rotting jaw.

Eyes bright enough to blind anyone who dared to face it.

And a voice so hypnotic that it convinces anyone that it is the truth. The  _only_   truth.

Fear was chasing Virgil, and it had the ability to corrupt anyone who was foolish enough to give in to its cries of 'honesty' and 'truth'.

something Virgil found to be too familiar.

something he had experienced before.

And he was not about to make the same mistake.

_Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety..._

 

_Hope?_

 

_not anymore._

 

_not. anymore._

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Roman stood dumbfounded, his mind both confused and conflicted, yet he understood perfectly.'That's not possible, you either understand or you don't.'

"ah, how great. Now I can hear Logan's voice in my head. Let me guess, is he really dead too? wait-no-don't answer that. I don't want to know."

He scanned the room for a sign of why Virgil might have left, anything that could hint distress or sadness. Or maybe even hatred for the others. There was nothing.

"Damn it Virgil, you just had to make this difficult for me."

He moved around the piles of paper that were strewn across his bed, each one with a different letter. 

"Okay. That's odd. Even for him. Something is  _definitely wrong._ "

28 sheets of paper.

D,D,O,O,O,N,N,N,T,T,T,T,T,T,R,R,R,U,U,S,S,I,I,I,I,Y,E,F

"what on Earth? That is most certainly not a word. UGH WHY VIRGIL."

He rearranged some of the letters, yet nothing. The one clue Virgil had left was not that much help.

"Maybe he's dyslexic?""

He looked around once more, hoping that there would be anything else other than this horrific pile of letters.

"I need Logan. I am not smart enough for this. This, This makes my head hurt."

Roman left the piles of sheets as he found them, a pile of four, a pile of five, a pile of two, another pile of two, another pile of two, a pile of three, a pile of four and a pile of six.

yet none of the letters put together in the piles made any sense.

"what words could I possibly make out of 'DDOO' DODO? DOOD? ODOD? OODD? and what about 'ONNNT' NONNT? NNONT? NNNOT? TNNNO? NTNNO? NNTNO? NNNTO? OTNNN? NOTNN? NNOTN?  none of those are words!"

"ughhhhhh. Logan. Help."

\-------------------------------------------------

"Patton what do you mean Virgil is missing?" 

"How many ways can i mean he's missing Logan?"

"Is he in the house?"

"No Logan, I've said this."

"I know that Patton, but you tend jump to conclusions before there is proper evidence-"

"I HAVE LOOKED ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND HE ISN'T IN HIS ROOM."

"Alright Patton, no need to shout-"

"Yes, there is! Virgil is missing and you don't seem to care!"

"Of course I care Patton-"

"You're always saying how he isn't one of us Logan!"

"I am pretty sure that is just Roman. He is the one who does not like Virgil."

"And you say nothing to disagree."

"That does not mean I agree Patton, See, you are jumping to conclusions just like I had said."

"Just help me find him!" Patton's voice once again filled with a stern tone, it no longer sounded scared or concerned. This concerned Logan.

"Alright Patton, I shall help you."

"ThAnK yOU." Patton sighed with frustration and relief.

"Where did you last see him?"

"In the kitchen for breakfast, He didn't want to talk to me so I didn't make him. He ate breakfast and left."

"Did he seem to be acting strange?"

"He's Virgil, Logan. You'll have to be more specific."

"Was he acting different to 'the usual'?"

"Not really-"

"LOGAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

"You have got to be kidding."

"LOGAAAAAAAANNN-"

"I AM COMING ROMAN."


End file.
